I am just terrible aren’t I? TWO YEARS. But when it comes to the why, it’s not so terrible at all. Writing is an outlet for emotions, so when my emotions are in turmoil, I feed them into blog posts and journal entries. It helps me work things out in my own mind. In the two whole years since I last wrote consistently, I think I have learned to understand myself. I am happy, and as a result, no more blog posts.
The reason I logged in today wasn’t even to write! I have caved. I’m going to start a “real” blog, where I’ll post about my outfits, new products I’ve tried, recipes I’ve invented, and fun experiences. It will be a happy blog. Perhaps, though, when I post an artistically composed photo of my perfectly roasted squash to my other blog, I will also take a moment to reflect here on the state of myself. Because change is interesting, and I’m evolving daily.
Today, I am feeling a little crushed. I have so much school work to do that I am blogging rather than face the mountain. But I haven’t broken; I’m not what I used to be. I’ve learned. I live alone now because too much constant noise and activity makes me anxious. I love being able to come home an create an environment that meets my needs of the moment. Every night before bed, I read for an hour, and it feels like the greatest luxury. My life is a dream, and I’m smiling now even with the staggering list of things I must do before the end of December. Oh, December. In December I graduate from the small hell that is an undergraduate degree in engineering, and I will move on to the introduction to freedom that is a masters degree in engineering. Hello power and a taste of free time!